Supporting another person
You do not need perfect words to help.
Your role is not to diagnose or solve everything. Be direct, stay present, reduce immediate danger when possible, and help the person connect with trained support.
If the person may act now
Stay with them if you can do so safely. In the U.S. or Canada, call or text 988 for guidance. If they have already seriously harmed themselves or face immediate danger, call emergency services.
Five evidence-informed steps
- Ask. Use a direct question: “Are you thinking about suicide?” NIMH notes that asking does not increase suicidal thoughts or behavior.
- Be there. Listen with patience and without judgment. Acknowledge the pain they describe instead of arguing with it or minimizing it.
- Help keep them safe. Ask whether they have a plan. When it is safe, help reduce access to lethal items or places and create time for the crisis to pass.
- Help them connect. Contact 988, a clinician, a trusted person, a spiritual adviser, or another appropriate source of support.
- Follow up. Check in after the immediate crisis and after transitions such as discharge from care. Supportive ongoing contact can make a difference.
Words you can use
“I’ve noticed you seem different lately, and I’m worried about you.”
“Are you thinking about suicide?”
“I’m here to listen. You do not have to carry this alone.”
“Can we call or text 988 together?”
What to avoid
- Do not shame, challenge, lecture, or describe suicide as selfish.
- Do not promise secrecy when someone’s life may be at risk.
- Do not rely on a public pledge or verbal promise as proof of safety.
- Do not leave someone alone when you believe immediate danger is present, unless staying would put you in danger.
- Do not take sole responsibility. Contact trained support and involve other trusted people.
Take care of yourself, too
Supporting someone through suicidal distress can be intense. You can contact 988 for advice even when you are calling about someone else. Share responsibility with trusted people and seek support for yourself afterward.